insomnia attacks again: inventions

Okay, so I thought maybe making a list of thoughts or ideas about 1 topic might help me sleep.

Topic of the night: Inventions that will make my life easier and more interesting.

1. Bad breath warning device – because sometimes you and other people don’t need to be reminded of what you had for lunch.

2. An automatic manicure machine for the other hand – because it’s just so freakin’ hard for not-so-ambidextrous folks like me.

3. Tweet-powered cellphone – you charge our phone as you ramble about your feelings in public or while you stalk your ex.

4. An actual gay-dar – It’s so hard,especially at the gym, staring at a hot guy from afar then finding out minutes after he has a date with the other hot guy i was staring at last week.

5. A calorie-measuring and controlling plate – I put my food on it and it tells me the actual number of calories I’m about to devour. Anything in excess will get “ejected” off it, to the floor.

6. Teleport machine – need I say more?

7. A pillow with arms – sometimes I need to be hugged too. (Forever alone?!)

8. Light alarm clock – room lights turn on when the alarm goes off.

9. Something to make me sleep in an instant- maybe a robot holding a bat that will give me a nice blow on the head right now…

I REALLY WANT TO SLEEP ALREADY.

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